(WARNING: MATURE LANGUAGE. And satire.)
Politically correct hip hop artist shad was shown the door today by CBC senior brass after barely two weeks hosting “q,” the troubled Radio One chat show formerly known as “Q.”
shad’s last day at CBC was announced by Executive VP Heather Conway.
In a written press release, Conway thanked the apparently shocked shad for his service. She further stated, “Although shad was only with CBC for one week, shad at CBC helped significantly unify Canadians by sharing Canadian melodies and lyrics with fellow Canadians, and showcasing Canadian music by a plethora of aboriginal throat singers, Cape Breton fiddle players, and Winnipeg klezmer bands. “
Conway continued, “We at the CBC wish shad the best and hope our payment to him of $5 million dollars of taxpayer money will soften his transition. But frankly, shad’s numbers were not there. He could not hold onto (former host Jian) Ghomeshi’s more youthful and robust audience of horn dogs and alleged sexual abusers.”
“So we have decided to go another direction and we welcome well-known celebrity and convicted killer Omar Khadr, aka, ‘khad’ to the CBC family.”
“khad promises to shakes things up at “q”. khad promises to go after our growing local population of Taliban and ISIS freedom fighters and sympathizers – a terrific growing market for CBC’s new and improved multicultural programming.”
According to khad, his solution for preventing any further incidents of sexual harassment or abuse at CBC is simple.
“Get rid of all female employees! Those dirty, slutty, menstruating whores should be at home tending to their jihadi babies and their jihadi men.”
Personally, though I only listened to shad a bit during his highly abbreviated sojourn at CBC “q,” I am really going to miss that dude. He was cool and dope, as the kids say these days.
As shad headed out the door, he improvised this following rhymed farewell:
“The gig was rad
I know I weren’t bad
I’m shad.
I’m shad.
Now I’m sad.
Who’d da frack
That khad?”
Mitch Wolfe: The Playful Contrarian 