Mulcair’s Own Huge Eve Adams’ Blunder- It’s All About Olivia

NDP Leader Tom Mulcair just committed his worst political blunder of this ongoing unofficial federal election campaign. He permitted and in fact promoted the candidacy of Olivia Chow to run as the federal NDP candidate in the newly-formed downtown Toronto Spadina-Fort York riding.

Yes, That Olivia Chow!  Yesterday’s, Yesterday’s, Yesterday’s Woman. Holier than Chow. The Yoko Ono of federal politics. Chow has more political baggage than Imelda Marcos has shoes.

Chow is back from the political dead. The NDP’s own version of the Zombie Apocalyspe.Note zombies are undead creatures, typically depicted as mindless, reanimated human corpses with a hunger for human flesh.

In the case of NDP Chow, she is a mindless, reanimated human corpse with a hunger for hard-working Canadian taxpayers’ money, government hand-outs, government pensions and large taxpayer-funded personal expense accounts. And since Mulcair is competitive- the zombie Chow has a new found hunger for political power.

Before we know it, other long dead NDP hateful, anti-Israeli wing nuts as Libby Davies and Svend Robinson, will be making their own zombie comebacks.

Mulcair, a Quebec-based politician, like the clueless Trudeau, who promoted the toxic Eve Adams in Eglinton-Lawrence,  does not know the frack about Toronto politics.

In the recent city-wide 2014 Toronto city mayoral election, Chow was thoroughly humiliated as she came in a very distant third, (23%) having lost to John Tory (40%) and Doug Ford (33%).Chow did not even carry the municipal wards of her former federal riding of Trinity-Spadina.

Chow lost with good reason.

Chow came across as a horrible politician and public figure. She was inarticulate, ill-informed, uninspiring and generally confused and ignorant about the issues.

When Chow stupidly and arrogantly favored buses for Scarberians as opposed to subways, she lost all of the suburban vote and the whole election- right then and there.

No one believed or trusted Chow when she talked out of two sides of her mouth. On one side-fiscal prudence- on the other side- Chow promised budget-breaking and expensive social programs for children and unemployed youth.

Chow’s pathetic political performance exposed a harsh political truth.

Chow’s previous political success, especially in federal politics, was clearly as a result of Chow riding the coat tails of her charismatic, articulate husband, Jack Layton.

And without Layton or his people to prop up the wooden Chow, she fell dramatically on her political face.

Mulcair and his people think that in this upcoming federal election, Chow will fare better as she is running in Spadina-Fort York. Parts of this new federal riding constitute her old federal riding of Trinity-Spadina, which she represented as an NDP MP prior to her ill-fated attempt to run for Toronto city mayor.

But this time, Chow faces a formidable, street-fighting opponent in incumbent Liberal MP Adam Vaughan.

Vaughan has already mercilessly lambasted Chow for being a power-hungry, cynical, opportunist and serial quitter,  accusing of Chow of quitting Ottawa to run for the Toronto mayoralty. And now quitting Ryerson as a visiting instructor to run once again federally for the NDP in parts of her old riding.

This federal campaign will be down and dirty and nasty. And thoroughly enjoyable.

I predict Chow will be once again humiliated in defeat.

But more importantly, the very fact that Mulcair has put his good name behind Chow,  this radical socialist tax and spend, anti-biz, anti-private sector,  John Sewell-like scary/crazy career pol from the 80s will hurt Mulcair personally and the NDP brand in all of Ontario.

For us, conservative political pundits, the return of the politically unrepentant and undead zombie Chow, is like Christmas and Hanukah in July.

In the next few months we are going to have so much fun driving political stakes in that cold-hearted Chow.

Check out the undead Chow’s recent campaign announcement. Her mouth is moving, but not the rest of her face. She is mouthing the words.  But her eyes do not move. She is Soulless,  As Mulcair pulls her strings.  She is so scary.
Chow’s campaign is going to be a freaking horror show.

I can’t wait.

It’s all about Olivia: Mulcair makes his own Eve Adams blunder

NDP Leader Tom Mulcair just committed his worst political blunder of this ongoing unofficial federal election campaign. He permitted and in fact promoted the candidacy of Olivia Chow to run as the federal NDP candidate in the newly-formed downtown Toronto Spadina-Fort York riding.

Yes, that Olivia Chow! Yesterday’s, Yesterday’s, Yesterday’s Woman. Holier than Chow. The Yoko Ono of federal politics. Chow has more political baggage than Imelda Marcos has shoes.

Chow is back from the political dead. The NDP’s own version of the Zombie Apocalyspe.

Note: zombies are undead creatures, typically depicted as mindless, reanimated human corpses with a hunger for human flesh.

In the case of NDP Chow, she is a mindless, reanimated human corpse with a hunger for hard-working Canadian taxpayers’ money, government hand-outs, government pensions and large taxpayer-funded personal expense accounts. And since Mulcair is competitive, the zombie Chow has a new found hunger for political power.

Before we know it, other long dead NDP hateful, anti-Israel wingnuts as Libby Davies and Svend Robinson, will be making their own zombie comebacks.

Mulcair, a Quebec-based politician, like the clueless Trudeau – who promoted the toxic Eve Adams in Eglinton-Lawrence – does not know frack all about Toronto politics.

In the recent Toronto city mayoral election, Chow was thoroughly humiliated as she came in a very distant third (23%,) losing to John Tory (40%) and Doug Ford (33%).

Chow did not even carry the municipal wards of her former federal riding of Trinity-Spadina.

Chow lost with good reason.

Chow came across as a horrible politician and public figure. She was inarticulate, ill-informed, uninspiring and generally confused and ignorant about the issues.

When Chow stupidly and arrogantly favored buses for Scarberians as opposed to subways, she lost all of the suburban vote and the whole election right then and there.

No one believed or trusted Chow when she talked out of two sides of her mouth. On one side, Chow talked fiscal prudence; on the other side, Chow promised budget-breaking and expensive social programs for children and unemployed youth.

Chow’s pathetic political performance exposed a harsh political truth.

Chow’s previous political success, especially in federal politics, was clearly as a result Chow riding the coat tails of her charismatic, charming and articulate husband, Jack Layton.

And without Layton or his people to prop up the wooden Chow, she fell dramatically on her political face.

Mulcair and his people think that in this upcoming federal election, Chow will fare better as she is running in Spadina-Fort York. Parts of this new federal riding constitute her old federal riding of Trinity-Spadina, which she represented as an NDP MP prior to her ill-fated attempt to run for Toronto city mayor.

But this time, Chow faces a formidable, street-fighting opponent in incumbent Liberal MP Adam Vaughan, who has already publicly and mercilessly lambasted Chow for being a power-hungry cynical, opportunist and serial quitter. Accusing of Chow of quitting Ottawa to run for the Toronto mayor. And now quitting Ryerson as a visiting instructor to run once again federally for the NDP in parts of her old riding.

This federal campaign will be down and dirty and nasty. And thoroughly enjoyable.

I predict Chow will once again be humiliated in defeat.

But more importantly, the very fact that Mulcair has put his good name behind Chow, this radical socialist tax and spend, anti-biz, anti-private sector, John Sewell-like scary/crazy career pol from the 80s will hurt Mulcair personally and the NDP brand in all of Ontario.

For conservative political pundits, the return of the politically unrepentant and undead zombie Chow is like Christmas and Hanukah in July.

In the next few months we are going to have so much fun driving political stakes in that cold-hearted Chow.

Check out the undead Chow’s recent campaign announcement. Her mouth is moving, but not the rest of her face. She is mouthing the words. But her eyes do not move. She is soulless, as Mulcair pulls her strings. Scary.

Chow’s campaign is going to be a freaking horror show.

I can’t wait.

Mitch “Miguel” Wolfe Finds the Best Latin American Resto in Toronto

Hola! There are a million foodie stories in the Naked City, as there are restaurants, bistros and street food stalls. But there are very few truly great Latino restos. And I have tried most of them- from the oh so hip Ossington, to multi-cultural St. Clair, to the sticks of Scarborough and further west to the uber suburban outback called Mississauga.

ave maria 2

But by far the best Latino restaurant in all of Toronto and the Greater Toronto area, is the little known Colombian café and grocery, “Ave Maria”, on Bloor Street west, near Euclid, nestled strangely in the heart of Koreatown,

literally sandwiched between a Korean sandwich shop and a suspicious all night Korean “spa”. “That’s Koreatown, Jake.”

ave marie 7- store

The small space, seating about 20 customers, is brightly-coloured, lively and very warm. A tribute to the owner, Maria and her supremely talented husband, the chef, Alan.

The restaurant has been open for about year and has been widely successful in an environment, not known for non Asian food emporiums.

I of course went full Colombian (as opposed to full Brazilian) and tasted all their best dishes.

Such as their: (1) perfectly made empanada – a light, soft cornbread covering potatoes and beef with their home-made hot and spicy sauce on the side; (2) specialty, shrimp ceviche, containing large, juicy, fresh shrimps cooked with just the right amount of lime juice and red onions; (3) signature dish of their spicy hot tamale, full of beef, chicken and pork covered in a protective leaf; and finally (4) their tres leches white cake, consisting of regular milk, evaporated milk and condensed milk and many other hidden ingredients, served with a hot and strong Colombian coffee chaser.

Oh my, the combo of cake and coffee was amazing and heavenly.

For once, the price was very reasonable – under $30 per person. The service was very warm, patient and I learned a great deal about Colombian dishes, from Maria and Alan, seen in the photo below.

ave maria 9- owner maria

Note the brightly covered international storefront and vibrant and cozy soft interior. But the unique Colombian flavours were the thing. And Ave Maria delivered big time.

Magic Mike XXL could teach Patrick Brown’s Ontario PCs a thing or two

(MATURE CONTENT WARNING) What better way is there to spend Canada Day than with a hundred screaming women (ages 20 to 70) in a suburban theatre watching the Channing Tatum sequel to the very successful Magic Mike?

We are in an exciting and interesting time here in Ontario. The Ontario Progressive party under its new young and vigorous leader, Patrick Brown, is trying to evolve and grow from its deep rural roots and become more progressive, more suburban, more urbane, and apparently more tolerant and inclusive. And definitely more LGBTQ.

Hence the very successful, loud, proud Conservative contingent of 60+ strong, led by Brown and his feisty colleague Ontario PC MPP Lisa MacLeod, in the recent Toronto Pride Parade.

And so it also just seems fitting to review a strangely compelling male stripper flick here in the deeply blue conservative, but highly iconoclastic pages of the Rebel.

Magic Mike XXL is clearly superior to the original Magic Mike. Okay, it is no Godfather II. But then againGodfather III was no Godfather II.

Magic Mike, in addition to starring Channing Tatum as Magic Mike – handyman by day and male stripper by night – also starred suddenly hot-again Mathew McConaughey as Dallas, the sleazy strip club owner and manager of the male stripping troupe, the “Kings of Tampa.”

This film was part female fantasy (half-naked, hard-bodied male strippers,) part romantic comedy as (Magic Mike trying to woo Brooke, his stripper buddy’s sister) and part moralistic drama, as one Mike’s young stripper protégés becomes too heavily involved in drugs and the stripper lifestyle, with its (apparently!) attendant violence.

Though directed by indie great Steven Soderbergh, the film did not hang together and was mostly forgettable. Magic XXL, on the hand, is more focused, with a simpler but more interesting and meaningful  storyline.

Gone is the sleazy, over the top acting of McConaughey.

In this film, the boys are back, with the “Kings of Tampa” taking centre stage – both literally and figuratively. The male strippers from Magic Mike – now self-identified as male entertainers -include aptly named Big Dick Richie (Joe Manganiello,) Tarzan (Kevin Nash,) Tito (Adam Rodriquez) and Ken (Matt Bomer.)

The story focuses on a male strippers’ convention at Myrtle Beach, which may be the Kings of Tampa’s last show together: Some of these guys are getting a little long in the tooth -Tarzan, though still a strapping example of manhood, appears to be suffering from arthritic knees  whenever he deep bends and painfully whips off his tearaway pants to expose his skimpy Speedos.

Others have outside business interests which demand their full attention – Magic Mike’s growing custom furniture business, Ken’s acting career and Tito’s start-up mobile frozen yogurt operation. Sensing that this may be their last hurrah – and the last time they each experience  hundreds of  screaming women sticking sweaty dollars bills in their jockeys – the boys embark on one last road trip from Tampa to Myrtle Beach.

The high point of the film, at least for me, is when these guys are cracking wise, bonding, kibitzing on and off the bus, and coming clean to each other and to us, the audience. We learn that Tarzan is a painter, a Marine and Desert Storm veteran, and Ken is a sensitive, struggling actor trying to increase his online presence. (I can certainly relate to that.)

Big Dick Richie reveals to his buddies that, though he’s a great-looking guy with tons of female admirers, he has not had sex in six months because he possesses a tragic flaw – an unusually ginormous member that apparently intimidates and repels all potential female partners.

Magic Mike also reveals that though he owns a home, a dog and a thriving furniture business, he cannot find his one true love with whom to settle down and produce award-winning underwear models, Brooke having exited stage left along with Dallas since the original film.

During this memorable road trip, the boys are invited back to a fancy southern plantation where they entertain 40-something, sexually frustrated southern belles led by Nancy (the still beautiful and radiant Andie MacDowell,) providing life affirming and empowering advice and pleasure, while gyrating and singing boy band covers.

Big Dick Richie and Nancy hook up, as Richie has finally found his opposite number, that one elusive woman who fits the proverbial glass slipper. Her yin to his wang, so to speak.

As in all great cinematic cheerleader competitions (Bring it On) or a cappella sing-offs, (Pitch Perfect 1 and 2) the boys realized that they must re-invent themselves and their numbers. Take risks. Throw out their tired old routines and create entirely new ones that truly reflect their passions and their identities for a broader audience.

In much the same way, Brown’s new and invigorated Ontario PC Party, after four consecutive and devastating electoral defeats, have had to throw out the old routines, the old advisers and the old way of doing politics and looking at politics. Electoral success has not been won in the past and will not be won in the future by merely energizing your hard core but declining conservative rural base.

As a straight heterosexual male, I was not moved by the male entertainers’ onstage performances per se, but I can see this film’s overall and broad appeal to both women and the LGBTQ community, and the subversive charm of these guys who simply want to bring fun and joy to their female customers’ lives – and also to their core gay viewing public.

But I did enjoy the male bonding, joking and camaraderie among the bros and the very funny and strong cameo appearances by such strong actresses as MacDowell, Jada Pinkett Smith and Elizabeth Banks. Not only does the film sequel hit a home run with its core gay and female audience, I believe it will successfully resonate with straight dudes, young and not so young as well, for the above reasons.

The lesson of Magic Mike XXL for Brown’s Ontario PC Party is to still appeal to the base, but also to take risks, be innovative, be different and go after those outside the base, for greater political appeal, support and ultimate political success. Also, a stuffed tube sock down the y-fronts might help; we can’t all be Big Dick Richie, after all.

Mystery of missing and murdered aboriginal women solved. The cause? Cuts to CBC programs

The RCMP recently released an updated and very controversial report on missing and murdered aboriginal women, which specifically concluded that about 70% of murdered aboriginal women were killed by native male Indians – that is, spouses, family members, acquaintances or otherwise known to the female victims.

The response by the liberal media (i.e. CBC) and aboriginal leaders was, let us say, quite underwhelming.

Anna Maria Tremonti of CBC’s “The Current” found these statistics alarming. She appeared particularly shocked that these RCMP “findings,” by a federal agency under the control of the Harper Conservatives, would suggest that indigenous men would be at all responsible for the disappearance and/or deaths of aboriginal women with whom they were involved or knew in their community.

The fact that the CBC and the progressive liberal press appear to be genuinely surprised by the RCMP’s irrefutable evidence-based findings, that the predominant killers of murdered aboriginal women are in fact native Indian men, should not come as a shock to those who have diligently followed the CBC over the years.

For years the CBC and other political liberal media, have been deluding themselves and perpetuating the myths that red-necked, long gun-toting, white conservative Harper-loving serial killer types or overweight pig farmers were running wild in the north and in western Canada preying on defenceless aboriginal women.

So imagine the surprise at the CBC that the causes of such deaths may be closer to home – literally in the homes and communities of aboriginal women.

However, in the case of the CBC and its fellow liberal/progressive media travellers, once they have been seized with a certain narrative, a certain inflexible way of seeing the world through rosy liberal glasses, it is next to impossible to suddenly and fundamentally change the direction of the story. Notwithstanding the actual facts on the ground have changed.

Accordingly, I believe that myopic people like Tremonti and the whole bunch at CBC still believe – notwithstanding the definitive conclusions of the recent RCMP reports – that a multi-year $50+ million public inquiry is still required to look into the root causes of how Canada, Canadians, and especially the Harper Conservatives have failed aboriginal women.

Knowing the CBC as well as I do, after decades of exposure to this publicly-funded institution, I believe that it is perfectly reasonable to assume that the CBC sincerely believe that one solution to the deaths of all these unfortunate aboriginal women is to significantly restore CBC funding so that CBC can create and produce inspiring and innovated aboriginal programming here in downtown Toronto, so as to positively influence the behavior of native Indian men.

The harsh reality is that such programming would be quite irrelevant to the First Nations experience, but very beneficial to the many politically correct, Toronto-based TV writers, directors and producers favorable to CBC, who are suffering from severe unemployment, while forced to make outrageous mortgage payments on their over-priced downtown Toronto condos.

But I digress.

Note in the RCMP’s original 2014 report on this matter, covering a period from 1980-2012, and based on police reports from all the provinces and territories, the RCMP found that there were a shocking 1,017 female aboriginal homicides and 164 missing aboriginal women.

Even though the female aboriginal population consists of only 4.3% of the total Canadian female population, the figure of 1,017 murdered aboriginal women represent about 16% of all Canadian female homicides.

This report also concluded that most homicides were committed by men and most of the perpetuators knew their victims – whether as an acquaintance or a spouse.

Interestingly,  at that time, the RCMP, in order not to be accused of racism and “native Indianaphobia” and the RCMP, apparently overly concerned with the sensitivities of the overall male aboriginal population, failed to specifically directly  lay the blame on the whole male aboriginal population for containing within their ranks – abusive native Indian men, rapists and murderers.

In the above-noted 2015 updated report, the RCMP did not make the same mistake again. To their credit, they did not pull any punches.

The said report concluded: “Parallel to the findings of the 2014 Overview in which most homicide victims had a previous rela­tionship with the offender (meaning, native male Indians,) the 2013 and 2014 RCMP data reveals that the offender was known to the victim in 100% of the solved homicides of Aboriginal women in RCMP jurisdiction.”

In other words, in 100% of the solved murders of aboriginal women from 2013 and 2014, in RCMP jurisdictions, the murderers were 100% native male Indians.

Predictably – and notwithstanding these very clear statistics – Bernice Martial, the Grand Chief of Treaty Six in central Saskatchewan and Alberta, is unconvinced that responsibility for the tragedy can be pinned on native men.

“How are they collecting and compiling all this information? To me, it just doesn’t drive,” she said in a telephone interview with the Globe & Mail. “The RCMP is under the federal government, they have to comply with their policies and whatever they are told, they have to do. What I would like to see is an independent national inquiry.”

Furthermore, Chief Martial and other First Nations chiefs do not see the connection between native Indian men abusing and killing aboriginal women and native Indian men being responsible for abusing and killing aboriginal women.

To these chiefs, many aboriginals and many liberal and progressive Canadians, these statistics are irrelevant. They should be ignored. It just doesn’t drive. To these people, this is not a male native Indian issue, it is a Canadian issue.

As such, these people believe the Harper Government and all the other federal parties should support another Justice Murray Sinclair “Truth and Reconciliation Part 2 – The Sequel” public inquiry, investigating the disappearance and the murder of aboriginal women. (Because 40 independent previous studies, which all have come to the same conclusion, are irrelevant and should be ignored.)

Apparently “Truth and Rec 2” should also last at least five years.  Cost $50+ million.  And employ tons of politically-connected aboriginal lawyers or aboriginal-friendly lawyers, consultants, lobbyists and general hangers on. All on the taxpayers’ dime.

This TR2 Commission should look at such root causes as the residential school system of 50 years ago, British colonialism, failed treaty negotiations, global warming, the existence of oil pipelines and most importantly, the lack of CBC programming of heroic aboriginals as influential role models.

In other words, more Adam Beach in Arctic Air or repeats of North of 60.

I get it. If I lived on a steady diet of Dragons Den and the unfunny Rick Mercer and Mr. D, I too would be driven to violence.

But more funding for CBC, that may be a bridge too far for us poor suffering taxpayers.

Toronto’s new Cop Services Board chair vows to end carding of rich young white dudes

(CONTENT WARNING: Satire.) Andy Pringle, incoming Toronto Police Services Board Chair and golfing buddy of Mayor Tory, promised to end once and for all the controversial carding of rich young white guys.  Especially in the heavily-policed area of central TO – white WASPy Rosedale – home of the notorious street gang, The Roxborough (Blue) Bloods.

The Bloods live in the poorer section of Rosedale – just west of Yonge Street, (known as “the wrong side of the tracks”) where the homes are narrower – driveways and garages are non-existent and parking spots on Roxborough are at a premium. The Bloods’ homes list for a paltry sum of $1- to 3-million-plus. Toronto real estate agents euphemistically refer to this somewhat scary, ghetto-like enclave as an area “in transition.”

The Bloods have attracted the attention of the federal and provincial authorities because in the past, their members (junior lawyers, analysts and young investment bankers) have earned obscene amounts of money plying their supposedly “legal” trade on Toronto’s Bay Street.

Recently released wiretap evidence indicate that the Bloods funnel huge amounts of funds offshore to the Philippines, so as to allegedly import into Canada and across provincial lines hundreds and potentially thousands of above age women, under the guise of raising and caring for their own children.  Notwithstanding that in these very same Blood households reside perfectly capable young, tall blondish trophy wives, going by the street names of Muffy, Buffy and Tuffy.

Last summer, then-Toronto Police Chief Blair launched “Project Wine Traveler”, a coordinated operation with the RCMP and Ontario LCBO officials, to stop these nefarious Bloods from importing superior but lower-priced California, French, Italian and Spanish white and red wine into Toronto, and killing (the jobs of) hundreds of overpaid, unionized LCBO workers.

This past spring the Toronto and New York stock markets have been booming. Tons of money is being made on Bay Street. As a result, hundreds of Toronto cops have taken to these streets and are aggressively and randomly stopping the Bloods and all white Rosedale guys on the mean streets of Rosedale.

Toronto’s finest, most earning in the high six figures, each sitting with tons of overtime money and unbanked sick leave, often force these Bloods out of their Porsches and Beemers and demand answers, on the spot, whether they should go long or short on the market, or just park their funds and RRSPs in high-flying mutual funds, income bonds, ETFs or more GICs.

Scott Paterson, long time Rosedale resident and former head of Yorkton Securities, used to be a member of the Roxborough Bloods. But through hard work, an opportunistic IPO, and an arranged marriage with a Rosedale princess was able to break out of this generational cycle of financial boom and bust and break away permanently from the Bloods and move into a tonier and wealthier section of Rosedale, east of Yonge Street.

Paterson shared with me the following: “I get why Toronto’s liberal media believe that the Bloods are urban pariahs. They make tons of money. They drive gas-guzzling fancy SUVs. And they personally cause gross income inequality in Toronto society. But I feel the Bloods’ pain. It is really annoying being constantly profiled, harassed and stopped by the police because these guys know how to package sketchy sub-prime debt and earn huge ‘cheddar’ in the process.”

“I hope our new mayor Tory does the right thing and stop this demeaning carding practice against this very visible, vulnerable white minority.”

As to this very point, the office of Mayor Tory recently released a statement indicating that Tory was publicly in favor of carding before he recently flip-flopped that he opposed it, after he voted at the police services board, bringing back the carding policy of 2014, which superseded the more strict anti- carding policy of 2015.

Say what?

City planner Jennifer Keesmaat: Today Toronto, tomorrow the world

(CONTENT WARNING: Satire) High profile Toronto Chief Planner Jennifer Keesmaat suddenly resigned her position yesterday.

According to anonymous and unreliable union sources employed at City Hall, Keesmaat – frustrated by being muzzled by Mayor John Tory during the recent epic debate surrounding the fate of the eastern portion of Gardiner Expressway – decided to throw in the towel, and called it quits at City Hall.

Keesmaat had also publicly gone on Twitter and publicly tweeted her support for her position and tried to shame Tory into changing his position.

“@johntory: tyme2 show some cojones+ #deep6GardEast” – @jen_keesmaat

“@johntory: bikes be4 hiways, bro! Yur hybrid=another DumbTrack” – @jen_keesmaat

It did not help Ms. Keesmaat with the mayor and his supporters on council when in March, at an event hosted by the Urban Land Institute, Keesmaat embarrassed Mayor Tory by publicly correcting Mayor Tory, not once but twice when Tory was called upon to respond to questions about the planner’s budget.

Obviously referring to Toronto’s previous mayor as well, Keesmaat was heard to mutter, “What’s the deal with you old white guys? Why is math so difficult for you guys?”

According to the Globe & Mail, Keesmaat also did not endear herself to certain male councillors repping the Toronto suburbs, when she referred to them, as “insufferable Neanderthal knuckle-dragging troglodytes” for their continued support of the use of the automobile as a means of transport from the suburbs of Etobicoke, North York and Scarborough to downtown Toronto and throughout the GTA.

To his credit James Pasternak, councilor for North York Ward 10, had previously publicly criticized Keesmaat for her highly impolitic comments when, referring to Keesmaat, he stated, “To take to the air waves and trumpet your own  personal beliefs when you’re serving a city council and serving a mayor, for many around here, that’s going too far.”

To Keesmaat and her loony leftist supporters on City Council, such as Joe Mihevc and Paula Fletcher,  “cars and trucks should neither be seen or heard south of Highway 401”.

If Keesmaat had the power, she would ban cars and trucks from downtown Toronto entirely.

Rumour has it that Keesmaat has been urged to throw her hat in the political ring and challenge Mayor Tory in 2018.

Maggie Atwood, political activist and sometime author recently took to Twitter.

“@jen_keesmaat: We got yur back. #BuryGardiner+Toryin2018” – @MargaretAtwood

As Keesmaat was leaving City Hall, she sounded almost Churchillian as she issued these parting words to her cheering supporters and the press:

“We may have lost this battle against cars, but we have not lost the war against cars.

“As for you gas-guzzling and carbon-emitting suburbanites, we shall fight you on the Lakeshore. We shall fight you in the Beaches. Er, Beach. Whatever.

“We shall fight you in the hills (Forest Hill) and the valleys (Rosedale.)

“We shall never allow this island of old and new wealth and white privilege to be befouled by you and your kind and your mobile instruments of death and destruction.”

It looks like we have not heard the last of the unsinkable and unstoppable Jennifer Keesmaat.

Leafs blame Residential Schools for decades of losses, demand reparations

(CONTENT WARNING: Satire) Yesterday, Maple Leaf President Brendan Shanahan held a press conference to announce the findings of a five year investigation by the Maple Leaf organization into the cause of the Leafs’ decades of incompetence, ineptitude and simply lousy hockey.

Standing outside of the former Maple Leaf Gardens on Carlton Street – now Loblaws, a fancy fruit and produce emporium – and flanked by former Leaf legends Wendel Clark and Doug Gilmour – Shanahan  laid the blame for the Maple Leafs’ horrible decline since the 1960s on the notorious Catholic Church-sponsored residential school system.

According to the Shanahan, up until 1968 (1967 being the last year that the Leafs won the Stanley Cup) the Leafs had won thirteen Stanley Cup championships, second only to the twenty-four championship, won by their arch rival, the Montreal Canadiens.

But apparently during the 1968 hockey season, then Leaf captain George “the Chief” Armstrong (whose mother was part Ojibway) often spoke in the locker room about the experience of his distant second cousin by marriage. As a young Ojibway man, several decades prior to the 1968 hockey season, Armstrong’s cousin was a day student at the residential school near George’s hometown.

This school was run by Catholic nuns and they demanded that George’s cousin wear a jacket, shirt, tie and grey flannel pants every day to class, be on time, do his homework and study every night. The nuns would rap his knuckles every time he failed to do or complete his homework. Furthermore, the nuns would not let his cousin play his beloved hockey unless he successfully completed his studies.

According to Shanahan, Armstrong’s teammates were shocked by this blatant mistreatment of George’s second cousin. Over the subsequent years, Armstrong would retell this horrible tale again and again to his distraught teammates.

And after awhile, consistent with the Leafs’ oral tradition, even after Armstrong’s retirement as a Leaf,  this apocryphal story would be passed on, season after season to subsequent Leaf teams.

According to Shanahan, the impact of this residential school story on the Toronto Maple Leafs has been profound, the damage seemingly permanent.

Since 1968 the Toronto Maple Leafs have never won a Stanley Cup championship. Since 1969 the same Leafs had never even made it to the final series of a Stanley Cup championship.

The Leafs’ historic culture of fishing for the puck around the net and aggressively hunting for goals has been dramatically transformed to a culture of  defeat and dysfunction. A never-ending cycle of dependence on booze (beer commercial endorsements) and drugs (to deaden the pain of perpetual defeat and vicious cross-checks by opposing players,) especially among the younger players on the Maple Leaf teams.

Shanahan did admit that the white British colonizers (the Weston family, owners of Loblaws) brutally taking the hallowed lands of the Leafs – the Gardens on Carlton – in part contributed to the Leafs’ downfall.

The loss of CBC’s Hockey Night in Canada dealt another blow to the Leafs’ fortunes.

Accordingly, Shanahan issued a set of 94 demands which must be implemented immediately by the NHL and the Wynne and Harper governments.  Prominent among the demands:

A full apology by the Pope to current and past Leaf players and their victimized fans.

A full restoration of funding to the CBC and the return of Hockey Night in Canada.

The replacement of hockey host George Stromboulopoulos with the dynamic duo of Don Cherry and Rod McLean.

The press conference concluded as hundreds of Leaf Nation survivors gathered around Shanahan, Clark and Gilmour in healing circles, locked hands, swayed and chanted together: “Go Leafs, Go.”

The Truth and Reconciliation Report Is dead in the water

Toronto Star columnist Chantal Hebert in her most recent column opined that some of the recommendations of The Truth and Reconciliation Report can be implemented, provided Federal politicians possessed the necessary political will. Though I generally admire Ms. Chantal’s political insight, she is completely off base here.

It is not a question of lack of political will on the part of the politicians, that none of these 94 recommendations will be implemented. The fact is that the majority of Canadians have moved on. They are sick and tired of propping up First Nation peoples with their own hard-earned tax dollars.

Numerous surveys indicate the hard, inconvenient truth that over 60% of Canadians believe that the First Nation people are themselves the authors of their own problems. And they alone should look themselves in the mirror and fix their own culture and society.

Note that for decades, millions of immigrants have come to Canada, many escaping abusive situations for a better life in Canada, for themselves and their children. These immigrants have learned English, valued education, valued hard work, learned to integrate into Canadian society while still retaining their respective cultures.

Over time the children of these immigrants have successfully graduated university and post graduate education and are now lawyers, doctors, accountants, engineers, bankers and businessmen and full contributing members to and leading members of Canadian society.

These new Canadians, who form a significant segment of Canada’s voting population, have no sympathy for decades-long complaining of these First Nations people. These are the Canadian voters all the federal politicians care about. And to blame decades and decades of dysfunction, drug abuse, violence and murders by First Nations on First Nations to a residential school system, which existed several decades ago and affected a relatively small number, is a joke.

This Truth and Reconciliation Report – which recommends that the Pope publicly apologize to the First Nations and that CBC should be given additional funding – is already dead in the water.

On a personal note, I fully anticipate that knee-jerk liberals will criticize this statement for being ignorant, intolerant and bigoted.

My response to that criticism is as follows: I am intolerant of condescending white liberal guilt, which treats First Nation members as less than second class people who cannot take direct responsibility for their own actions. Numerous objective studies (by the RCMP and police authorities –  is everyone bigoted and ignorant?) conclude that over 70% of violence against First Nation women are caused by First Nation men or women, in the same community or who have knowledge of the victims.

How is that statement ignorant, intolerant or bigoted? It is time for First Nations men who are violent towards First Nations women to take responsibility for their actions, instead of blaming their violence on the fact that their grandfathers were urged to learn English by nuns several decades ago. And somehow that gives them a free pass to rape, assault, and kill First Nation women today.

Harper and Mulcair reach out to the adulterer vote

(CONTENT WARNING: Mature language and satire) In a brilliant media coup, a newly formed consortium of Netflix, Cineplex and Ashley Madison, the notorious dating website for cheating spouses, has secured the exclusive rights to host and broadcast the fifth, last and probably most important federal election debate between Prime Minister Stephen Harper and NDP Opposition Leader Tom Mulcair.

Noel Biderman, the King of Infidelity and the driving force behind this counter-cultural consortium, affectionately dubbed “Woodstock”, held a news conference today at the Toronto Four Seasons, the site of the final and probably epic Harper/Mulcair debate.

Biderman was flanked by his partners Netflix co-founder and CEO Reed Hastings and Ellis Jacob, CEO of Cineplex.

Biderman proclaimed, “The old, fat consortium of CBC, Global, CTV and Radio-Canada is so 1999. Especially, the CBC. It is done. Finito. It is time to stick a fork in it.

“Welcome to the future, bitches.”

Biderman continued, “Millions of Canadians are voting with their feet, cutting their tv cables and joining Netflix. Millions of Canadians every day  are experiencing the thrills of Cineplex films, in state of the art Cineplex theatres throughout Canada. And of course, millions of Canadians are having extra-marital flings or fantasizing about having such sexy hook-ups. And Ashley Madison has been there to help fulfill these dreams.

“The actual debate will take place here at the Four Seasons’ d/bar, the home and inspiration for countless trysts, casual encounters and nascent affairs. I will host the one-on-one, no holds barred debate between Prime Minister Harper and NDP leader Mulcair.

“This debate will be broadcast free of charge online through Netflix, in both official languages and in many other unofficial languages. And in all Cineplex theatres throughout the country, for those who do not have access to the internet.

“The consortium will also be working with such popular sites and apps as Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Tinder, Tumblr, Grindr, Vine, Vice, Uber, Spotify, many of which sound really cool, but I don’t know what the f**k they actually do.”

“We are confident that our consortium will broadcast to over 15 million potential Canadian voters!”

Kory Teneycke, spokesman for the federal Conservatives, stated, “When Noel first approached us, we were a little skeptical.  But when he showed us the hard numbers of how many millions of male and female Canadians cheat on their spouses, same sex partners, common law spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends,  even their casual ‘friends with benefits,’ we were frankly blown away.

Apparently “stepping out on your man or woman” cuts across all income, racial, ethnic, religious, geographic and political lines, from Victoria, BC to Come by Chance, Newfoundland.  (Pun intended)

It appears that adultery is as Canadian as hockey or a Tim Hortons “double double”.

Teneycke also added, “As you know, our official position is that times have changed, and all political parties must change with the times. And we did not believe that the traditional debate format proposed by the CBC-led consortium properly addressed the pressing issues affecting current hard working Canadians.”

“Our unofficial position, off the record, is that we believe that CBC (and to a lesser extent CTV, Global and Radio-Canada) is filled with left-leaning, anti-Harper, anti-Conservative,  a-holes who willingly engage in self-flagellation at the mere mention of  the Second Coming of Trudeau Jr.. So any time we can stick it to those Omar Khadr-loving lefties, is a bonus for us.”

NDP leader Tom Mulcair echoed these very same sentiments, when he stated, “We welcome the involvement and sponsorship of the fifth debate by the team of Netflix, Cineplex and of course, Ashley Madison.”

“I understand many NDP members are frequent and regular visitors to the Ashley Madison site, especially our Quebec wing. Consisting of former BQ members, whose loyalties, how do you say in English, are always fluid and suspect.”

“As you also know, the NDP party prides itself on being a ‘Big Tent.’ On being inclusive and expansive.

And attracting all kinds of rogues, reprobates and scum-sucking bottom feeders.”